So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
North Korea, Best Korea!
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
