Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
