tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
