I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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