The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
