Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
