these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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