Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
