Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
