I just threw up on my dentist
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
