I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
don't judge my taste in strippers
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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