He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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