i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
