You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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