Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
