whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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