I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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