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She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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