What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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