Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
