im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I could make wine with my vomit
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
