Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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