Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
