Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
