my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
