I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
