White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
