After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
