left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
