He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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