before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
