There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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