she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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