it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
