I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
