She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
