What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
