He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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