idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
