Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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