wanna go halves on a baby?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
