this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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