So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
