He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
