Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
