he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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