so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
