My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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