Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
