Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
